Obligation

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There have been a few times in my life when blogging felt like an obligation*. I’ve been doing this for long enough to know that when those times come around, it’s time for a break. Which is why I’ve been so quiet lately. Especially on social media. I just can’t find the time at the moment.

Work

There is a scene in The Devil Wears Prada when Stanley Tucci tells Anne Hathaway, after she tells him that her life is falling apart. And he says,

That’s what happens when you start doing well at work. Let me know when your entire life goes up in smoke, means it’s time for a promotion.”

Well, it’s not quite that bad but work is taking about 80% of my energy at the moment. I sometimes have to ask the kids to not ask me anything for a few hours, simply because have nothing left to give.

The went to a science workshop with Anton the other day because I needed time to write. As I headed home, I suddenly realized that I’d rather battle rude people in a busy mall on a Friday after pay day, than do one more thing for someone else. And I hate shopping malls. Smells like desperation, doesn’t it?

In my head I know I need to take time for myself. But I feel so obligated all the time. Even if I step out of the house for an hour to buy shoes, I feel like I need to hurry up so I can get home and tackle the list of “proper responsibilities”. Is it just me or is it a mom thing?

School

Home school is 100% better than it was last year this time. Khan Academy is amazing and my kids are tolerating it really well. Of course there are still some days where Math leaves us all close to tears, but I’m starting to get the idea that very little Math, is actually about Math. It’s about problem solving and applying formula and perseverance.

So if anyone has managed to find more hours in the day, I’d love to hear from you. I’d love to find the time to take time for myself between home school from 7-10am (Anton takes the afternoon session), work from 11am-7pm and then crashing into bed as soon as everyone has been fed and I’ve found the time to get some chores done. That said, this routine is WAY better than it was a few weeks ago, but I just need to find some balance.

And maybe somewhere in there, I will find the time to just stare at the waves or watch the sun filter through the leaves while I lie on a blanket with a book.

  • Real life Divergent segregation. Maybe the tribes should have been Obligation, Denial, Self Absorption and Paranoia

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