Finding time to write has been pretty elusive lately and the very idea of sitting down to confront this blinking cursor on a clean, white page has been almost, daunting. Maybe it’s like exercise, when you get in the zone you can just keep going and going but don’t you dare get sick and have to stop. Before you know it, it’s been months since you’ve been to the gym. Time flies when you’re procrastinating. But lets talk about #RockingMotherhood
I generally avoid these blog challenge questionaire thingies because #yawn, but Cindy from 3kids2dogs1oldhouse tagged me in it with a bunch of awesome ladies and I thought well, why not? The idea is for me to post 5 reasons why I think I’m #RockingMotherhood. Am I, though? Really?
After 12 years in this game, much of motherhood feels like a slog. Of course I love my kids. It just NEVER STOPS. Like ever. Moulding little people into decent human beings who treat others with kindness, while trying to find a place for themselves in the world, is a journey. A long ass journey. While feeling like you’re fighting a losing battle to keep them alive, obviously.
Is it the most worthwhile and honourable job in the world definitely. Does it feel rewarding while you’re in the thick of it, hell no! But that’s okay.
Every single almost grown-up conversation I have with my kids feels like my hard work has paid off. When you can see that the ground work you spent years laying has taken effect, and they are well on their way to building a sturdy self, you get to pat yourself on the back because all the sacrifices were worth it.
Every time you gritted your teeth through a tantrum and stood your ground on a point of order, you cemented another foundation stone into place. It was pretty damn hard at the time, but it paid off. #YayYou
Which brings me to why I think I am (actually) #RockingMotherhood
- I don’t squash their question when they ask, WHY? In fact, I encourage it. Asking why is the reason I have become who I am. When you never accept the answer you are given without delving into whether it makes sense to you, you not only challenge yourself to always question what you believe but you force others to do the same.
- I encourage my kids to do things for themselves. The world will never give you something for nothing so, the sooner they realize that they have to work for what they want, the better it is for everyone. Which is why I don’t give them pocket money. Basic chores are done because they are part of the family. If they want to earn money, they have to come up with a way of doing some extra.
- I don’t let them watch/do/have what they want just because everybody else is doing it. Of course they’d like to have a phone. Yeah, and? They will get a phone when I deem they are emotionally and mentally ready for the responsibility of having one. Just this week I said to the kids, “Being an adult has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with responsibility”.
- I have encouraged a hunger for travel. You can read more about it here.
- I know I still have a long way to go. And this makes me a good mother. The fact that I am never satisfied with how “well” I am doing shows that I love them so much, that I want what’s best for them. Being a mom didn’t come easy for me. 12 years later I STILL beat myself up for the choices I’ve made. I’ll never be 100% okay with the fact that I didn’t seek treatment for my post natal depression and the fact that my relationship with my son was non-existent for the first 18 months of his life. Mea culpa.
Being a parent is HARD. It is a marathon up a never ending hill but, after +-18 years, if you’ve done your job properly, you should be able to coast down the other side. And I will be grinning all the way to the bottom.
These moms are also #RockingMotherhood and I challenge them to give us some insights as to how they do it.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it is:
- Thank the blogger who tagged you and show some link love to their blog
- List 5 things you believe make you a good mother
- Tag a few bloggers to join the #RockingMotherhood squad